50 miles . . .I am not convinced.

I am not convinced that I couldn't become tough enough to run 50 miles.

I am convinced that I am past the halftime of my life.

I am convinced that I didn't have a receding hairline 10 years ago.

I am convinced that my daughter lost her first tooth today and it bothers me immensely.

I am convinced that my life is based on grace and I still don't comprehend it.

I am convinced that Blue Moon makes the best Holiday beers.

I am convinced that I am going to run 8 miles tomorrow and 8 miles on Sunday.

I am convinced that Eddie Vedder's version of "You Can Close Your Eyes" is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

I am convinced that I am going to buy the book and DVD "Back To The Wild" . . .the photographs and journals of Chris McCandless.

1,099.50 miles this year

I have ran 22.5 mile since Christmas Eve. Only 23 degrees this cold, dark morning. I got a pair of Saucony winter running pants that didn't seem so warm this morning. . .they should be . . .they were expensive.

On Christmas morning I ran to the dam. Actually, I ran to the porta potty by the dam. I took the road the whole way and not the trails. The winding hill is a killer for these legs. I was encouraged by my will.

Still not sure what I am going to do next year. There is a 30 miler in Chicago in April that I am probably too late for now . . .thought I was going to be in South Carolina and not sure I can train for 30 miles in 3 months without getting hurt.

There is an 18 miler in Minnesota in May that sounds cool. There is a half marathon in my hometown at the beginning of June. I have never ran the Bix 7. I have never ran the Steamboat Classic. I am waiting for The North Face to announce their 2012 Road schedule . .should be next week. Also, wouldn't mind the Milwaukee Marathon (Lakefront) in October.

Regardless, I love that I am running. I love that God talks to me when I run. I love that I am not on a stage saying "look at me" . . .I am usually on a dark, country road by myself . .while the rest of the world still sleeps.

1,077 miles this year . . .

Through today (12/23) I have logged 1,077 miles in 2011. Will be over 1,100 before the end of the year as I have at least 20 miles planned for the 24th, 25th and 26th alone. I keep waiting for The North Face to announce its 2012 races as that is what I am leaning towards now. I have been running but my motivation has been sluggish. My alarm goes off at 5:07AM and I have been re-setting it until 5:31AM . . .I always get up on an odd number. Duh! I still run but I have not been leaping out of bed to do it like I do in the spring and the summer. I was wanting to do a 30 miler in Chicago at the beginning of April but it appears though we will be away that weekend. I have been reading (and re-reading and re-reading) a poem by Galway Kinnell called "Middle of the Way." I love it. I have 3 runs all over 6 miles planned this long holiday weekend and as always look forward to "getting out and being in the middle of it . ."  

8.2 miles this morning

8.2 miles
7:30AM
Below 30 degrees

There was nothing graceful about my run this morning. Frost covered the overpasses and fields. My glasses kept fogging up because of the rolls of steam floating out of the top of my shirt. I fought through these 8 miles . .sometimes I can break through and "float" - -even if just for a couple of hundred yards. No floating today but the run was pure, inspired and mine.

Not many miles this week . .

I haven't been very good about writing about my running lately. It is not that I haven't been running and it's not that my running has turned mundane . . .I just haven't been writing. Some of it this I think stems from the fact that I am in advertising and I get paid to write so writing in my free time seems like work. However, one day when I am gone . .my kids and grandkids will hopefully be able to read the contents of this rambling that I do and get a little glimpse of me.  I ran several times this week at the Y and outside in the dark, cold mornings but never ran more than 3 miles. I ran on trails with my son today because he got a new pair of Merrill trail shoes . . .and because I love him and I will always go when he asks! Some day he won't ask . . .

I am going to go for an 8 mile run tomorrow morning. My gut is starting to store fat for the winter and the "edge" is starting to soften. I need to sign up for something soon. 

Feeding myself . . .

I go to the library almost once a week. This has everything to do with my running. What I ingest in terms of music and reading, I digest while I run. I ran outside this week several times. Wednesday morning at 5:15AM . .it was below 20 degrees. I ran yesterday morning also, it was below 15 degrees. I ran in the first snow of the year. My feet crunched and my breath froze.Today it is only 25 degrees and I have a short run planned downtown to my buddies running shop to pick out a pair of running gloves that will hopefully be put in my stocking . . . .Tomorrow I am going to go 9 miles out to the Lake again . . .it is becoming a part of me as I have spent enough miles out there to have a little history. I know the smells and the sounds.

This is what I got at the Library today:
Chopin and Brahms CD ( I listen to classical music in the winter when I run)
Band of Horses CD
Mens Health Magazine
Outside Magazine
John Berryman Collected Poems
James Merrill Collected Poems
Poems by WS Merwin

All of this art will in some way become a part of me over the next several days, sprinkle this with some Psalms, memories, whispers and my own thoughts - - and this will be the fuel that I run on this coming week.

4.5 miles yesterday with a Santa hat on . . . .8 miles today with a frozen butt

Our friends who own the running store asked me to run a "leg"  in the "Santa Runs a Marathon" for the living windows celebration for downtown merchants. I ran from 1pm to 1:45pm with a Santa hat on on the treadmill in the front window of the store. This was a first! There were 5 of us Santas and we ran 26.2 miles in 4 hours. The other Santa's had to pick up my slack . . .

Today I ran about 8 miles in 30 degree weather. I ran through the park and then through the other park. It was the most alive I have felt in a long time. It was just me and my beating heart, the geese, naked trees and a sombre looking sunday afternoon. I thought that I needed a new outer layer to wear when I run in temps under 30 degrees but have decided that maybe the first thing on my wish list should be a new pair of running pants. I am not a tights guy and will only wear the tapered leg running pants . .I like the ones I have but I don't think that they are tight enough as they move back and forth when the wind blows . . .and the fact that I got done running 2 hours ago and my thighs are still cold!

My mind is right because of my run this afternoon. I am going to work out at the Y in the morning and also run 2.5 miles. I ran last week several times on the treadmill.

 

3 miles Saturday 9 miles Sunday

Saturday. I ran in the rain. People drove past me and thought I was nuts. I ran past them and thought they were nuts for not running in the rain.

Sunday. 9 miles. It was cold. My five senses were alive . . .maybe that it was I run.

My "running buddy" who owns the local running store asked me to run for 45 minutes this weekend on a treadmill that will be set up in the front window of his store. This is part of a "living windows" theme for downtown merchants. It will be the first time that I have ever ran in a Santa's hat . . .

My body feels pretty good. No problems with all of the things that I thought was going wrong - - -except for my right shoulder hurts when I run . . .?

9.2 miles on Thanksgiving

I ran 9.2 miles on Thanksgiving. Everything was good until about mile 6 when I felt a sting above my left outside ankle. It almost felt like a shock . . .I had to stop because I thought that I was going to fall. It then started to feel hot. My "self diagnosis" via the internet . . it appears as though I have a case of peroneal tendonitis. I am not running today. . .This would make sense since the last several times I have run (either treadmill or yesterday in the park) I have run "hills".

It was cold and quiet running around the lake yesterday. My son didn't go with me because he is nursing an ankle right now (and it's basketball season so no reason to irritate it). Running alone on the trails I usually run with him (on the weekends) made me extremely sad and cognizant of the fact that both of my kids are growing up and one day neither will be around. 

I love the places that my two feet can take me.

I'm still here

I have run quite a bit on the treadmill this week. I have been messing with running hard for a quarter mile then backing down but putting the incline at a 5 or 6 for a quarter mile and then repeating. It sucks. Yesterday I thought that my heart was going to spew out of my mouth. I am going to run trails tomorrow with my son. It is Thanksgiving and I am thankful to be healthy.

I've been listening to a band called Horse Feathers. I love them.

My favorite albums of 2011 you ask?
The Tallest Man on Earth - - -The Wild Hunt
Bon Iver - - - -Bon Iver

I have devoured both of those albums this year and think that my life would be different if I didn't have each of those in my life. 

I have been running to the new Coldplay album. It is becoming one of my favorites. 

I feel pretty fit. I feel old. I feel like my life is more than half over. I feel close to God. I feel like my wife and kids will never understand just HOW MUCH I love them. I am thankful for breath and water and the bible and grace and Mizuno running shoes.

on the verge of a 50K . . .

I am about 73% sure that I am going to start training in a week or two for a 50k (30 miles) in Chicago at the beginning of April. I am at that point in my life where I realize that I'm not going to be able to fight forever - but that time is not now. The thought of being able to run 3.8 miles further than the 26.2 I did in October seems once again, out there . . .

My wife didn't freak out quite like I had planned so that was encouraging. I have been looking at training plans. There is one that would start in January but it seems quite aggressive. I am leaning towards a marathon training program just amping up my long runs a couple of miles.

Once again . .nobody is making me do this. I am not trying to impress anybody. I am not going through some sort of mid-life crisis. I like myself when I am pushed and I like the feeling of being connected to my maker.

I could start training for another marathon and try to run faster . .but why? Even faster by 45 minutes would still be slow . .so what's the point? I'd rather go slow and long . . .mark my words . . .when I whoop 30 miles I'll start training for 50.

11.5 miles in a 40 mph wind

It seemed like I was gone forever on my run yesterday. Partly because I didn't how many miles it was that I was going I just knew that I was going to run from my house to Soangetaha to Lincoln Park. The other reason it took so long was because at least 4 miles of the run was directly into a 40 mph sustained wind. It was the kind of wind that was blowing my mind. The kind of wind that will literally make you go crazy. Regardless, the Doug Owen running head first into a 40 mph wind one step at a time is the Doug Owen that I want next to me in a bunker. For some reason at about mile 11 I thought that I was going to pass out. I got light headed and had to stop for about 30 seconds. When I get home I ate voraciously . .. .it may have been some sort of weird blood sugar thing. Regardless, 11.5 miles was the longest I have went since the marathon. I am "eyeing" a 30 mile (50k) race in Chicago in April. I haven't broken the news to my wife yet . . .

I weighed myself at the Y this morning and I am at 178. That is about 7 pounds heavier than when I ran the marathon. I have been lifting weights a couple of times per week so I think that some of that weight is from that...I know longer feel "skinny fat" the way that I did a couple of weeks after the marathon!

I have been watching a TON of youtube clips on different ultra races (Badwater, Western States, Rocky Raccoon 100) . . .anybody that can go over 26.2 miles is a stud . . .I want to be a stud.

4 mile of trails . . .

3 miles yesterday morning on the treadmill. 4 miles today with my son on trails. We ran up and down "Suicide Hill" twice. I worked all day tearing out carpet and pulling 9500 staples out of our hardwood floors - -all on my knees. Needless to say, the trail run I promised to my 13 year old son at the end of the day was one of the toughest I have done in a while. We watched the sun burn down over the lake . . .it was one of those sunsets that hurt my heart. I am going to run 10 miles tomorrow.

9.5 miles Sunday - - -3 miles today

I am a weak man. If truth be told, I have several Gods that I often put before my own. I have been examining the various Gods in my life (pride, food, money, vanity - -those are some that jump to mind!). If not put into perspective, running too could hinder my spiritual growth. Put into perspective, it can enhance it. I have been  praying that God would help me gain discipline in other areas of my life as he has with my running. . . .or maybe I have been more active and engaged in the discipline of running because running feeds my pride and my vanity. 

Regardless, I ran 9.5 miles on Sunday but was quite disappointed because I thought that it was 10 miles! Today I went to the Y in the middle of my work day (took lunch though I didn't eat - - one of the things I am working on) and ran 3 hard miles.

I know many people who are dying right now - -really dying. I know many with broken hearts with no hope for tomorrow - -I know people who are sad and alone - -sometimes I try to "take on" those pains for people and pound them into the streets. Sometimes I take my own pain and do the same thing.

I am grateful that I have hope for tomorrow . . .

62 miles to go . .

Going into November I have 62 miles to go to reach 1,000 miles for 2011.

I ran 887.80 total miles in 2010.



I ran 4 miles this morning at 5:45AM . .it was 32 degrees. It is interesting how periodically I will get a puff of something. This morning it was a puff of fabric softener. Other times it is perfume, other times yet it is cigar smoke or toast. I run by all of these houses with their tv's on and I'm sad for the people inside and how most of them don't realize what they are missing on the outside, in the dark morning. 

THIS IS COOL . .

I picked up a postcard on Saturday when I was at Niketown in Chicago. It was from the "Nike We Run Chi" running club. I love this . . .so will any of you who RUN.

WE'RE IN IT FOR THE HIGH. WE HIT THE ROAD. HARD.
WE RALLY. WE DON'T WALK. OR JOG. WE EAT WHATEVER
WE WANT. WE DRINK WHATEVER WE WANT. WE KICK
UP DUST. WE PUT OFF HOMEWORK TO RUN. WE OPENLY
MOCK TREADMILLS. WE DON'T NEED GYM MEMBERSHIPS.
WE ARE OUR OWN HEALTH CLUB. WE SHOW UP. ALWAYS.
WE MAKE THE POSTAL SERVICE LOOK UNRELIABLE. WE ARE
A WOLFPACK. WE CAN RUN AWAY FROM OUR PROBLEMS.
WE ARE CARB CONNOISSEURS. WE ARE A VENTI-CUP OF KICK-ASS.
WE ARE UP FOR ANY CHALLENGE. WE RACK UP SOME SERIOUS
MILES. WE RUN INTO THE BLACK. WE ONLY SMOKE WHEN WE RUN.
WE GO LONGER. AND HARDER. WE CAN PARK ANYWHERE. WE CAN
DELIVER IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS. WE NEVER WORRY ABOUT THE
FRESHMAN 15. WE PRONOUNCE "JOGGING" WITH A SOFT J. WE PRONOUNCE IT
"YOGGING." CABS ARE EXPENSIVE. CARS ARE OUR ENEMY. WE RUN CHI

I went to the Y and worked out tonight. I am going to run 4 tomorrow morning.
I am going to run 5 on Saturday. I am going to run 10 on Sunday.  

I talked to my buddy who owns the running store. The new version of the shoes that I wear (Mizuno Nirvana) will be out in January. That is about when I will have "miled" out the shoes that I bought in mid-August. I need to start saving more nickels and dimes. For those of you "new" to my ramblngs, I pay for my shoes by saving my change each day. . . .makes me feel less guilty for buying $140 running shoes!

No Run Thursday . . .

Today is one of those days where I am going to be covering the miles in my car and not my feet. I ran only about 3 miles yesterday. It was dark, lonely, quiet and perfect. I know several people who KNOW that they are dying right now. Somehow I think that the key is to realize that we are all dying RIGHT now - -BEFORE the Dr.sticks a diagnosis around our necks. The bible says (Owen paraphrase) that "God has put the thoughts of eternity in men" - he certainly has me.  

Through the dark morning

5 miles this morning. It was 30 something. I couldn't hear the crinkle and swoosh of my wind pants because I was lost in my music. I raced a train for a short while. I left at 5:40AM. By the time I got home some of my old familiar flare ups started to flare. That's good. It means that I pushed myself. I ended my workout with 30 pushups. My goal is 50 in a row by Christmas. I am starting to feel better about myself. I am continuing to take in more calories than I am burning! However, these long runs that I am going to start adding should help! I am going to run 10 miles this weekend . . .Right now, 2 hours after my workout - -my body is in a trance-like state - -I LOVE the feeling.

Only ran 65.3 miles in October. I ran alot of times  - - just not very many miles at a crack. 65.3 miles is about half as much as I have been running over the last 3 months.

8 miles today . . .

8 miles today. This is the longest that I have ran since the marathon. It felt incredible. Sweat in my eyes. Gray t shirt soaked. It was 52 degrees. I still wore shorts. It was good to take back the roads again. I could see forever on the country road I ran on. Throughout my training it was a tunnel with corn on both sides. I felt all of the familiar pains. . .

It has been an interesting weekend. Friday night I sat in a tree stand in the middle of nowhere . . .Saturday I was in downtown Chicago . .and today I ran . . .this weekend covered alot of the elements that make up "me."

I am so thankful that I did not tear myself up on my marathon.

Another Do Over . . .

I am going to run 7 miles today. This feat seems as large as the 26.2 miles I did JUST last month. I seem to be in a constant state of "do overs" . . . .I am going to give myself another one today. Instead of being mad at myself for letting my mind, body and spirit lose its edge after the marathon . .I am going to give myself a do over before I completely have to start from scratch again. My faith is based on a constant state of do overs . . .it is called GRACE.

We were in Chicago yesterday. I had cookies for breakfast. A LARGE Blue Moon and Chicago style pizza for lunch. All of that is just fine if I am doing to the work to atleast even out the calories. I haven't "evened out" the calorie intake versus calories burned since the marathon 35 days ago. I need to start. I was in The North Face store which to me represents everything about me that I like - - -outside, fit, fresh, clean, adventure. I was trying on a fleece sweater and saw my belly try to jump out of the top of my pants. My gluttony and lack of discipline disappointed me. I don't like to disappoint me.

I am going to sign up for a race here in the next couple of days. Even if it is in the spring. . . .I am going to run 7 miles today. I am going to "get back" the part of me that I worked so hard to get before the marathon.

And yes . . . the Blue Moon was worth it. Potentially the best beer that I have EVER had.  

Started my day with sweat . .

I ran about 3 miles this morning at 5:30AM . . I woke up not liking myself on several accounts this morning so I took it out on myself for 3 miles! Running gives me clarity. Running allows me to let God speak to me. Me, Myself and I are doing better now. I have a long day . .many miles . . .many meetings . .many phone calls and emails before I return home this evening.

I am needing a shot in the arm . . .

I have been running but nothing more than 4 miles since the marathon. I am so thankful that I am not hurt and have been able to run through the fall. I have really lost my fitness. I need to get signed up for something. My work life and family life has been quite busy and I am finding it hard to find time to run. Since the marathon
I have been working out at the Y 2 days a week. I have no muscle! This post has not be very inspiring. I am however going to get up EARLY EARLY tomorrow and get in 4 miles before my day starts. The new Coldplay album is out so maybe I will download that on ITUNES and put it on my IPOD.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY miss my pre-marathon self. I miss how it made me a good man. I miss how it made me a disciplined man. I miss sweating and drinking water and talking so freely to GOD because I had 2 and 3 hour runs. And . . . .I think he misses me too.

    

I MISS ME

I MISS THE PRE-MARATHON ME.

I MISS THE WATER I DRANK.

I MISS THE SWEAT I SWEATED.

I MISS THE BANANAS AND THE BAGELS.

I MISS THE LONG RUNS.

I MISS THE PRE-MARATHON ME.

I AM STILL RUNNING. I AM STILL OUT IN THE DARK MORNINGS. BUT I MISS THE LIFESTYLE . . . .AND I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

I AM ALIVE

I am alive. I took a week off from running after the Marathon. 1st time in a long time that I took off 7 whole days! I have been running in the mornings still  . .usually 3 to 4 miles. On Sundays I have been running trails with Tanner. I will start writing every day again. I guess after the marathon I put everything on hold . . .I am ready to start moving forward again. I quit writing on this blog for awhile after the marathon because it made me MISS my life as "the person training to run his first marathon." After I crossed the finish line . . .anything that I related to that experience made me "homesick for myself" in a way. If that makes sense? Those of you who have done this know what  I am talking about.

I am going to start writing on this every day . .I promise. Thank you for continuing to read and for nudging me to keep at this.

For those of you who follow my music trends . . .I am currently listening to the album "Lost Songs" by David Gray and am really digging the song, 'Truth" by Alexander.

Sledgehammers on my quads and I'm still going to write . .

#1 I am still going to write on this blog every day. I am hoping for a book deal. Or an underwear deal. I'll take whichever comes first.

#2 I feel like somebody took a sledgehammer to my quads.

#3 I can however go up the stairs headon instead of sideways.

#4 This 26.2 mile thing has become a bigger deal in my mind today.

# 5 I got up at 4:30AM on Monday and Tuesday . .both days I went to the Y to recover in the pool, steam room, sauna and stretched.

#6 I am going to try to keep this marathon "lifestyle" . . .THAT is what I like about the Doug Owen who ran 26.2 miles.

#7 YES . .I ran the whole 26.2 . .though I had to stop and go to the bathroom at mile 18 . .I can't count that as a STOP (I stood up!) . .

#8 I missed my projected time by 10 minutes. Several reasons for that: HILLS, I hit the wall and was scared to push completely out of it because I thought there might be another wall even bigger! I never did this before!

#9 My heart did a little dance at mile 24 to let me know it was getting annoyed.

#10 This is actually #1. I could not have ran 26.2 miles without God going on all of the training runs with me! I hate when people say that and don't mean it . .I mean it.

26.2 miles later . . .

26.2 miles later I'm home. . .I've got to be honest - this was tough. I can barely walk! My wife and kids are getting a foreshadow of what I am going to look like when I'm 80! I did not set any records . . .but I put one foot in front of the other for 26.2 miles, crossed the Mississippi River twice, ran in the cold rain for almost 8 miles, stayed on my feet, hit the wall (if it wasn't THE it was A wall), fought my demons and finished the last quarter mile with my son running with me. More later . . .warm shower and the Bears.

4:15 AM - - -Marathon Day

I slept the way I used to sleep on Christmas Eve. I slept the way I slept the night before my knee surgery. I was up every hour checking the clock making sure that I wasn't going to miss my alarm . . the way I do in a hotel room not wanting to miss my flight. God has never had me miss a flight . .but I still wake up.

The gun goes off at 7:30 . . I live an hour away from the starting line. I will be there early. I am going to drive there by myself, start by myself and be greeted by my family at the finish line. That is the way I want it. Leave in the dark by myself and return to my family.

I have had BIG days in my 42 year life. This is not one of them. Though this is one that I will always remember, this day isn't one that defines me. It is not a wedding, a funeral, a birth, an adoption, a baptism . . .it is not the day I fell in love, admitted an addiction, got my heart broken. It may appear as though I am downplaying the day for fear of not finishing - I'm not. I am merely pointing out that my life is far deeper than 26.2 miles. The things I don't like about myself at the starting line will be the same things I don't like about myself at the finish. And the things I DO like about myself at the starting line will be the same things I like about myself at the finish.

It is 4:30AM and I must finish getting ready.

The night before . . .

Went to Quad Cities and picked up my packet.
Packed all my stuff.
Layed out my clothes.
Charged both ipods (bringing 2 just in case . . .I'm dead without music)
I've been drinking water all day (like I usually do) and eating normal.

This whole thing is in perspective. I am not looking to finish 26.2 miles and feel different. I am already different because of the training.

I LIVE.
I LOVE.
I LAUGH.
I have done all of those LONG before I ever started to run. Running just enhances them . . .

 One of my favorite lines from a song is by Pete Yorn and it goes, "I don't know how she died, but I sure know how she LIVED."

Every run is a story. Even if it is a short run. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. The smells, sounds, thoughts, hurts . ..are all different .. but they are all RICH. Tomorrow won't be any different it will just be a little longer story than body is used to.

For those of you who pray . . .please pray for me. I can guarantee you if I even know you remotely I have prayed for you at some point during this 66 plus hour training.

And now I walk into the wild . . . . 

I feel like I'm about ready to kiss a girl for the first time . . .

I feel like I'm standing on the high dive, strapped in a rollercoaster, speaking in front of thousands of people, taking my driver's license test, kissing a girl  - - - -all for the first time.

My butterflies vanished when I jumped, went over the first hill, opened my mouth and spoke, started the car, puckered my 6th grade lips (yes Isaid 6th grade!)  ---the butterflies will also vanish when I take my first step tomorrow morning at 7:30AM? How do I know? Because history repeats itself . . .

I went to bed fighting a sore throat. It will not win.

I have eaten pasta, bread, apples, yogurt, granola, oatmeal . . . .all stuff I usually eat - -just not with the same intent of loading my body with carbs.

More when I get back from the 5 year old soccer game, apple orchard, deli, EXPO, Starbucks, Running Store . . .

I love this song by David Gray . . .

http://youtu.be/FAIcMg8zz6k

If I could sing like this I would never leave the house. . .

Training done . . .all that's left is the shootin' match

2 miles last night.

Most body parts feel OK . . .left hip is a little pissed but other than that . .

Nothing left to do now but RUN.

Spaghetti tonight.

Going to Quad Cities tomorrow to pick up packet.

Ton of friends sending me texts, emails and calls.

I have NO idea how I am going to do this.

Here's the plan:
GELS     45 minutes before . . . .mile 4.5    mile 9      mile 13.5          mile 18            mile 22.5
(going to my "running buddy's" store tomorrow morning to buy my FINAL marathon Gels - - -gooutsideandplayrunningshoes.com) . . .
                                                                         6 gels at $1.40 = $8.40

WATER  20 ounces every 6 miles with 1 NUUN tablet at every fill up
 mile1-6 20 ounces/1NUUN    mile7-12   20 ounces/1NUUN     mile13-18 20 ounces/1NUUN                   mile 19-24 20 ounces/1NUUN
                                                                80 ounces water / 4 NUUN                                                         

BATHROOM
Whenever I have to!
Running 26.2 miles is going to be tough enough . .I'm not going to be miserable by trying to put it off! Not like I am going to be setting any records anyway. . .

LYRICS TO MY MARATHON THEME SONG BY COLDPLAY (if you don't know it . .listen to it)
   
          LOST
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I would cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get
What I deserved
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause a long may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting until the firing stopped
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

(piano solo)

Ohhh and I...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I..
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

MORE LATER . . .

2 miles tonight and I'm done . .

2 miles tonight and I'm done. I've been reading too much about carb-loading. I've been reading too much about hitting the wall. I've been reading too much.

Here is my plan:

I am going to eat like I have always eaten.
I am going to drink like I always have drank.
I am going to start out slow and stay slow  . .like I always have!

This tapering is driving me crazy. By Sunday, I will just be excited to run again.

The songs that will get me through the last 8 miles . . .

3 miles today - 5:30AM. I floated in the dark. Scared myself with my own shadow twice. People ask me what I think about spending so much time alone in the dark morning. Most of the time I am so in the "now" that my mind doesn't wander into the past or in the future. That is was is so poetic about running. It is one foot in front of the other, it is the smells that you smell you RIGHT now, the air that you breathe RIGHT now, the song that you sing RIGHT now. Speaking of songs, these are the songs or groups that (with God's help) will carry me through the last 8 miles:

Mumford and Son (2 songs)
Coldplay/Jay-Z (Lost - -this my marathon theme song)
Eminem Till I Collapse
Kanye West All of the Lights
ACDC Thunderstruck
Goo Goo Dolls Name
Stevie Nicks For What It's Worth
Kanye West Stronger
Old Crow Medicine Show Wagon Wheel
Eminem Lose Yourself
Finger Eleven  Paralyzer
Ryan Bingham Southside of Heaven
Fort Minor Remember the Name
U2 Beautiful Day
Edward Sharpe Home
Stevie Nicks Landslide
Kevin Rudolf   Let it Rock
Rumspringa (Minds Awake and Shake em' Loose)
Van Morrison In the Garden
Saliva Click Click Book
Wyclef Jean We Are Trying To Stay Alive
Rob Thomas  . . Little Wonders I love this line: "All lives are made in these small hours" Yes, I was man enough to admit Rob Thomas . .

The only time I usually listen to this Rap/Rock stuff is when I work out . . .I need this at the end of the run because it gets my blood flowing so good that I would tend to start sprinting if these songs came early in the run! I've got 75 songs on my marathon playlist . .lots of slower, sad stuff at the beginning of the run that reminds me of people that I love, people that I love that have died, and songs that remind me of me . .
 .

8 in the rain . . .

8 miles in the rain. Left at 7:15AM . . .by 7:30 it was a cold and steady rain. My legs were fresh. It was good to get out there. I woke up at my usual 4:00AM and started bombarding myself with negative thoughts on how there was no way I could run 26.2 miles. Bombarded myself on why I would knowingly put myself through this pain for no apparent reason - - -it is easy to get attacked when you are laying in a warm bed in a dark room. Not 10 steps into my run - - -I remembered why I run and why I am doing this - - -because I love it. I love 3 mile runs like I love 10 mile runs. And though 26.2 miles is a LONG ways - - -I have always been driven by something much deeper than myself. I put together my playlist for the last 8 miles of the run. If I can get to 18 miles with "regular" music . . the "8 mile left playlist" will get me through the rest.

Perspective . . .

I understand that probably hundreds of thousands of people around the world are going to lose their lives today. . . .and hundreds of thousands will be born. This IS perspective. My 26.2 mile mountain . . .is self induced. I can stop whenever I want. I don't take that for granted. I hate when people turn their "hobbies" into something more than just that - - -I try not to do that. I am not running for my life. I am not running from my life. I am simply running - - -I never forget that.

3 miles at the Y yesterday . .new picture . . . taper

3 miles on the treadmill yesterday morning at 5:30AM at the Y. Had to change the picture . . .was taking too much crap (comments like: "you look like you are posing for the cover of an album" or even more to the point: "you look stupid.")! The new picture was taken after my 1st 18 mile run . . .I usually assume that same position after any run over 8 miles. Ice on both knees. Banana and Gatorade in hand. Once again, GQ hasn't been knocking down my door. Got a "nice" text from one of my little brothers this morning that simply said: "so when is your jog?"  Jog? Jog? I understand that I am not going to set a landspeed record but anything over 10 miles (regardless of how slow) needs to be classified as a run! I've got today and tomorrow off. Eight miles on Sunday and then next to nothing all of the next week until my 26.2 mile JOG on the 25th! Mentally I am struggling with the distance. I was talking to a friend yesterday who is training for the Chicago Marathon who is struggling mentally with the same thing. I don't have anything to compare this to. This will be the run that EVERYTHING from now on is compared to. If in January it is 5 below zero when I step out for my 5 mile run I can say, "I can get through this . . .I ran 26.2 miles." On Sunday the 25th . . .I'll be in a spot I've never been before . .especially after mile 20!  

390 MILES 3900 MINUTES 65 HOURS LATER

First off all, I ran 4.1 miles this morning at 5:00AM. Both of my knees now hurt and my left hip! I feel like John Riggins, the great Washington Redskins running back. Riggins was the oldest player to have 300+ rushing attempts in a season. With a fairly visible hitch in my giddyup now . .someone asked me today if I would go through with this. Would I go through with this? I did some math: 390 miles since June. 3900 minutes = 65 hours. I based this on a 10 minute mile . .which is a little slow but would account for 8 minute mile short runs and the 10 minutes or so I use for stretching for each run. I have so far run 390 miles so that I can run 26.2 miles. Appears as though the math favors the marathon! Oh . . . .but I love the focus . . .and the determination . . . .and the pit in my gut. I teeter totter back and forth with doubt. I am 7 years old again standing on the high dive for the first time. . . .

Eve of final early Wednesday AM run . . .

The taper has started. Tomorrow morning is the last morning that I have to be on the road at 5:15AM to get my miles in before my day starts. Six miles. A line in a Howard Nemerov poem has stuck with me, "A man may grow strong in his wandering." I can't put a finger on what it is that lives in me that has to do 26.2 miles. I can put a finger on why I love my wife. I can put a finger on why I do what I do for a living. I can put a finger on why I know that there is a God and a Son and a Spirit. Both of my knees have been yelling at me throughout the day. It seems like all I do in my spare time is . . .ice.

4 miles with my son

4 miles at 5:30AM with my son. No music. Full moon. Trains. Crickets. Dogs. The clicking rhythm of 4 feet on pavement. He is young, light of foot and very quiet when he runs. I, on the other hand, am not so young, clomp along and can't figure out how to quiet the heavy breathing and occasional gutteral groan. Regardless, he will one day remember doing some early morning training runs with his dad.

Another 12 miles in the books . . .

Bears win, fire in my fire pit, bought a new down winter coat from Cabellas for cheap, God loves me even though I'm not perfect, Jack Johnson coming out of the speakers and another 12 miles in the books. Hip felt good. Both knees started to ache as usual after 7 miles. Ran hard. Ran into the fog. Ran like it was my last run. Thought alot about my body and how I have absolutely abused  it over the years with nicotine, beer, junk food and general neglect. One of the reasons I run is because I CRAVE all of the above! Two years ago I thought that I was going to have to pay the price with my life for my abuse to my body. When I found out it it was a false alarm - - -I cleaned my act up. I don't judge. Believe me, I don't judge. If I could feed my body what it really wants (Cigars, chew, Keystone Light, Twinkies!) without the consequences, I probably would! God has shown me so much PURE  joy without the long term abuse to my body. He has given me running to replace the other crap . . .and I am SO thankful. 

15 Minutes before 12 Miles

It's amazing how much time it takes me to prepare for a long run. Even though I have everything layed out, I still fumble through the darkness and forget things. I've usually already logged a quarter mile up and down my stairs before my run begins! I told my wife that I had 12 miles this morning and she didn't seem impressed! Funny how our perspective changes when we start testing and exceeding our limits! She is very worried about me and is ready for this "whole thing" to be over with. I have lived inside my skin for 42 years and am not quite certain that I can just turn this "whole thing" off after I attempt to run 26.2 miles! It appears to be mid 60's outside and I am excited about what God has to say to me over the next 12 miles. I am running a route that weaves in and out of the city into the country. Even though I have ran further than 12 miles several time before - - -I respect the distance and KNOW that EVERY step could be my last. I understand that final line sounds like a bad line from a made for TV movie - - but I  DO understand that whether it is running, driving a car or just breathing - -our "last" ALWAYS has to come sometime.

Up at 4AM . . .

I was up this morning at 4AM. I found myself laying on the couch watching Mister Rogers Neighborhood while my little family slept upstairs. That show time travelled me back to 1975. I came across a line today by one of my favorite poets and will think about it all day:

                                                    "I love the earth, And always
                                                    in its darknesses I am a stranger."
                                                                                                     Galway Kinnell
                                                                                                     Middle of the Way

That is what I FEEL every morning when I first step off my back porch for my morning run.

My left hip has not calmed down yet. I have 12 miles tomorrow and pray that it won't give me fits. I have came ALL this way . . .doesn't my hip know that? It has been with me every step.

I smelled Polo today . . .

I smelled Polo (in the green bottle) today for the first time in a long time and was instantly taken back to 1986. It reminded me of high school football games and girls that I thought that I loved. Turns out the only girl I really did love still shares my last name after all these years and my kids call her "mom." I wonder what I will smell 20 years down the road and remind me of today? I wonder what will remind me of the "insane time in my life" when I trained for a marathon.

8 miles yesterday . .rest today

I rolled out of bed and did 8 miles yesterday. Today I slept until 6:00AM! I haven't slept until 6:00AM for months. My body once again woke up again at 4:30AM but fortunately this time I was able to fall back asleep. I thought that I really hurt my hip yesterday after stretching. I pulled something bad enough that I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to walk the half block home. I have today and tomorrow off from running so hopefully will feel better by Sunday's 12 mile run. I feel tired and out of shape today. After this marathon I am looking forward to my continued running. I need it in my life. I have only been running 4 days a week since training and look forward to getting back to 5 and 6 days per week. I am perfectly content with 4 and 5 mile runs - - - in fact, I feel like they do my body more good than slow, long runs. I am also looking forward to working out again. I have the scrawniest arms . . . . 

10.2 miles in last 2 days

Ran 5.1 miles yesterday morning at 5:30AM
Ran 5.1 miles this morning at 5:00AM
This morning my son ran with me. I woke him up at 4:45AM . . .not bad for a 13 year old! He stayed pretty close at about mile 2.5 when we were all alone on a dark country road and the only thing we could see was the white line in the middle of the road being lit up by the moon. I think the run this morning taught him things about himself. He had never run 5 miles before! I have 8 miles tomorrow. My left knee is trying to give me problems but I have worked too hard to let it. It has been below 50 degrees both runs this week. I can't wait to start running again in the snow . . . 

20 miles the day after . . .

I feel the onset of tendonitis in my left knee. I will bombard it with ibuprofen and ice. I am in pretty good shape today. Because I am me - -  the "newness" of 20 miles has worn off. I am not much of a "wisher" but there is one thing that I do wish. I wish that I would have started running about 20 years earlier than I did. I started in my mid-30's with ALREADY a 5 inch scar on my knee from a repaired ACL and meniscus. I guess that it is a visible excuse as to why I am not fast but I would have liked to have had a "fair shake." Met a guy at a party last night that couldn't believe that I was going to run a marathon at MY age.

For the record, I played golf in college (almost 20 years ago!)and understand what it is to be competitive. When it comes to running, I am not competitive. I am competitive with myself as to "how far can I push myself?" but am not competitive as far as racing goes. I am not a runner. I run. I am not a marathoner. I will have run a marathon. I am perfectly comfortable with my spot on the competitive running food chain. I have far more food chains that I am interested in climbing.

It is important to note that one of the main reasons that I run is because I love my wife and 2 kids so much that I want to be healthy and fit so that I can live on earth with them as long as God has planned for me.

8 hours later . . . .

8 hours later I can feel the 20 miles with every step! I ate a triple cheeseburger and shared (I ate 75%) a family order of fries with my son from Culvers. I feel confident. I feel grateful to my God for allowing me to experience this even though he promises that my life is "but a vapor." This morning was certainly a cool way to live my vapor! 80 ounces of water (with Nuun) Gels at 30 minutes before .  .4.5 miles . .9 miles . .13.5 miles and 18 miles. I started cramping up at around mile 20. I am certain that the final 6.2 is going to be a battle. I was on my feet for 3 1/2 hours today. I thought about alot of things today. It is hard to escape yourself when you are forced to be alone with yourself in your head - - -mile after mile.

Passed the 20 mile test

At this point in my life, my body, my heart and my mind are tougher than 20 miles! More later . . .

15 minutes before my first 20 miles.

15 minutes before my first 20 miler and I've got to be honest, I feel like I just got strapped into a rollercoaster. It is still dark out. All of the Owens' at my house are sleeping. I think that I have all of my appropriate bodyparts "taped", "covered" and "taken care of"! I remember that 10 miles was a big deal. 20 won't be twice as big a deal but big enough to wake me uup with butterflies. Of course, my mind is telling me that my left hips hurts - - OR, my left hip hurts. Regardless of my hip, my nerves, my covered bodyparts Robert Frost said , "I have miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep" . . and so do I.  

20 mile run tomorrow

I have been sitting here at my computer this morning for 45 minutes trying to map out my run tomorrow. It is easy to figure 20 miles. It is harder to try to figure out where I can get water. I am basically going to take three runs all starting and ending at my house . .when the run ends, I will re-fill my water. I will have the water sitting outside so I can re-fill my bottle fast  . . .I have learned that when I stop, starting over is almost like learning how to run again. I have once again been reading too much about "hitting the wall." When I was younger, EVERYTHING about me was full throttle - - -now I seem to be somewhat cautious and obsess over things. This week has the been the first week where doubt has crept in. I have this story that keeps playing over and over in my head where I pull myself out of the race at about mile 22. Would like to say that I don't ever have self doubt but that wouldn't be true . . .and that wouldn't be fair to "running" because running is one of the "truest" things I know. I am going to drink well over 100 ounces of water today and fuel myself with "slow" burning energy (apples, yogurt, oatmeal). I weighed myself and I am at 174 pounds. That means that I am only 4 pounds away from my goal. Surprisingly  I don't really feel like I am in very good shape. I think alot of it is that I have not been working out (except 30 pushups after every run) and as a reult my chest and arms aren't very strong. Let's put it this way, GQ won't be knocking on my door anytime soon. I am going to once again buy my GU today and anxiously prepare myself for the beating I am about to take tomorrow morning!

14.3 miles in 2 days

Yesterday morning and this morning I was outside well before the sun came up. This morning I was out the door at 4:45AM and ran 10 miles. Two mornings in a row all I heard were crickets, trains and semi's off the interstate. The moon was bright both mornings and too many stars to count. Yesterday I watched the sunrise while I was running down a dark country road. Both mornings were so peaceful that I did not want to interrupt them with music. I am so grateful for the mornings that I have had running over the last 5 or 6 years. Every run tells a story. Each one has a beginning, a middle and an end - - - I am grateful for the stories told over the last 2 mornings. 5 miles tomorrow and then a couple of days rest before the big 20 miler! I am so thankful that I am not injured. 40 miles this week! The most I have ever run in one week!

14 miles yesterday

14 miles yesterday (Sunday)
6:00AM to 8:20AM (one 4 minute bathroom break at Lincoln Park)
Water?            (20 ounces through 7.5 miles then refilled)
NUUN?           (2)
GEL?              (30 minutes before, mile 5.5 and mile 9)
Hurt?              The aches traded places back and forth throughout the run but I AM HEALTHY!
Ice?                Yes
Bandaids         (2) - - - -the one on my left nipple was Ronald McDonald - - -freaked my son out when I                      took off my shirt after the run.
Music?            The lyrics from "Landslide" stuck with me . . "And I'm getting older too . . . "


14 miles seemed fairly anti-climactic considering I did 18 last Sunday. However, I do not take 14 miles for granted and am so very thankful that I am healthy enough to run and push myself. I had my first twinge of doubt yesterday and a little today.  . .  . This morning I went to the Y for spa day and stretched and sat in the Sauna. I am taking this training very slow and deliberate and it is going to pay off with no overuse injuries.

With no running today I feel tired and lazy. I weighed myself. I am at 176 pounds. I could be much slimmer if I would be as disciplined at my eating as I am with my training . . .

I am proud of myself for pushing through the pain. I have a spot for it somewhere deep inside that I put it when it rears its nagging head. There is a HUGE difference between aches/pains and injury. I know the difference. I can't expect to go longer than 5 miles and NOT feel it in my body somewhere.

3.7 miles with my son in the dark . .

Tanner woke up at 5:00AM yesterday and ran 3.7 miles with me. The dark, the crickets, the moon and the stray dog in the middle of Kellogg Street may be forever emblazoned in his memory! It was the coolest thing to run before most of the world woke up with my 13 year old boy. At first, he stayed close to me (obviously he still sees me as his protector!) but then he spread out. He spread out so much that I couldn't catch him the final quarter mile to our house! I am going to try some Hammer Gels (never had them before) and a new flavor of NUUN for my 14 mile run on Sunday. I watched a documentary about the guy who owns Patagonia and the other guy who used to own The North Face . .it is called "180 Degrees South." It inspired me so much that I am going to buy it. I have been listening to the soundtrack also . . . .I keep referring to Psalms 26:2 throughout this training - - "Test my heart and my mind O Lord" . . .so far he has!

7 miles this morning at 4:45AM

I got "outside" this morning at 4:45AM. It was dark. I heard crickets and trains. I looked up in our second story window and saw the nightlight in our hallway glowing through the blinds. It was HARD to hit the road this morning. My training actually called for 10 miles but I opted for a hard 7 miles. I RAN HARD. I feel like 7 HARD miles will do more benefit for me right now that 10 EASY miles. I found a website that talks about feeding your body enough carbs so that you don't "hit the wall."  Obviously nothing is guaranteed but there is a cool calculator that talks about how many CARBS you need 12 - 36 hours before the marathon. It is endurancecalculator.com. I was proud of myself this morning for getting up, for running hard the whole time, and so far not eating any crap! This has been quite a journey. 5 miles tomorrow morning before 6AM. I am going to "swing" by and pick up my son for the final two.

18 Miles on Sunday

I have got to admit . . .I have not been a very devoted writer lately. I ran 18 miles on Sunday morning. I left at 5:55AM and returned at around 8:55AM. Almost 3 hours on my feet! After 20 minutes of ice, a banana, another Gatorade and laying on the hard ground while my kids stretched my legs . . .life was back to normal. It was, as it is every time I run, life altering. I ran through Heritage Days (where grownups dress up and pretend they are living in the 1800's!) . . .the smell of woodsmoke and dew. I feel pretty confident about 26.2 now. After about mile 13 I once again kind of went into a trance. I had 20 ounces of water/nuun and filled up again at mile 10. It was not enough. I need to make sure that I fill up around mile 8, 16 and 20 something. I had GUs at mile 5.5, 10 and 14. It was steamy on Sunday morning and I could feel the heat trying to escape my body. Yesterday was "spa" day at the YMCA so I stretched and sat in the sauna. Today I ran 4.3 miles - -hard. The first 1/4 mile my left ankle (high up) was a little cranky. Feels like a little tendonitis. I ran strong the whole time. I am going to whoop this test.

Hydration Plan . .

From what I have been reading . . . . .If I drink 20 ounces of Water/NUUN every 8 miles I should be good.

I'm still here . . .only 38 days away!

I haven't had time to write lately. I have ran 3 miles on Monday, 4miles on Tuesday, 9 miles on Wednesday, took Thursday off and ran 4 miles this morning. The 9 mile run started at about 4:15AM because I had a 6:30AM appointment. Nothing appears to be too "out of whack" with my body right now. Periodically I get a "searing" pain in my left butt cheek. Seems like a deep bruise that periodically gets shocked! However when I run it is not too bothersome. Mapped out my 18 mile run for Sunday. Most people don't know that I am training for this marathon. I really only talk about it with people who ask or those closest to me . . .Maybe I will talk more about it when I have actually ran 26.2 miles. And then again, maybe I won't.

Quick Update

Back from the Northwoods. I ran 3 miles on Friday up there with my son. I ran 12 miles on Saturday. I drove 8 hours home yesterday. I got up and ran 2.6 miles this morning. This morning was kind of a "wasted" run but I needed to get back into the routine of waking up before the sun came up to run. It was hard. I am so grateful that I am this far into my training and have not suffered any real set backs. Even though I am eating like crap (though today I am starting to get back on track), I think I am in really good shape. I actually sprinted (or felt like it) for miles 11 and 12 in Wisconsin. It might have had something to do with being in the middle of bear country but regardless . . .I took gels at mile 4 and at mile 9. I looked at this week's schedule and it looks like I go 4 tomorrow, then 9, then 5 and then an 18 miler this weekend! I re-read UltraMarathon Man over the weekend and am reading "Born to Run" again. My "prize" for myself this weekend in Wisconsin was a COOL pair of The North Face shorts. They are mesh and cover most of my knees . .just the way I LIKE my running shorts! My little girl starts kindergarten tomorrow and I am dreading it . . . .

Running in the Northwoods tomorrow . . .

We are leaving tomorrow morning EARLY for a long, long weekend in the Northwoods of Wisconsin before our kids start school on Tuesday. We are headed 8 hours of north of where we live smack in the middle of black bears, pine trees and supper clubs! They call them "fishing lodges" and "supper clubs." We love it up there. . . .I have 4 miles tomorrow (which I am going to run with my son) and 12 miles on Saturday. I am basically skipping a 4 mile and 8 mile run this week because I was sick and had no other choice. It is already getting into the 40's in Northern Wisconsin so I am looking forward to not battling the heat. My knee doesn't hurt today however I think that I have slight case of shin splints. . . .

Since the "buzz" of my long run has somewhat worn off, I have came to this realization: I have even MORE respect for the distance (26.2) than I have ever had. With my only goal being to just finish . . .one of two things will happen: I will either finish or I won't finish. After slipping into somewhat of a "running coma" yesterday during my run I have realized that ALOT can happen in 26.2 miles. Some of it good. Some of it bad. However, I WILL COME PREPARED.

I ran 16.3 miles today . . .(why would I put .3? Because the .3 gets me closer to 26.2)

I have never ran 16.3  miles on a Tuesday before. I have never ran 16 miles on any day! I left my house at 5:00AM . . .I returned at 7:40AM. This morning was a quiet victory for me. I never really hurt HOWEVER late this afternoon and right now I am walking like an old Owen. I got home from my run, tore my shirt off, and in a look of confusion my 5 year old daughter said, "Dad, WHY do you have bandaids on your boobs?" I guess that is a fair question . . .

My left knee hurts right now and I am not sure if it is the beginning of runner's knee or just further inflammation from where I hit it on Sunday with the STUPID axe handle. Also, my right shin hurts. I told you I was an old Owen . . .always wanting to talk about my health like an 80 year old.

Drank 16 ounces of water the first 8 miles (with NUUN tablet)
Drank 20 ounces of water the second 8 miles (with NUUN tablet)
Was really thirsty at the end of my run.

Had GU at mile 5, 9 and 13.

Went to the bathroom twice . .I will leave it at that.

16 miles tomorrow morning . .

I am going to run 16 miles tomorrow morning before work. I have never typed that sentence before. I am a little nervous. I ran 3 miles this morning just to see if I still remembered how to run. I have been drinking water all day. My plan is to do two 8 mile loops. I want to drink 20 ounces of water (with a NUUN tablet) each 8 miles. I have to get this run in because we are leaving for the North Woods on Thursday. I am looking forward to "me" tomorrow.

One more day of rest

Instead of running 16 miles today, I walked 3 miles with my wife this morning. My sickness lingers in my head and still makes me dizzy - - -I am being smart by not starting to run too soon. It is driving me crazy. I have not run since Wednesday and feel completely out of shape. I miss "me" and God struggling and sweating on the road in the early morning. I have realized that when it comes to running I do the best "I can" with what "I have." It is not any different than me trying to be a good man. We are a sum of our victories, scars, wounds and losses . . . Tomorrow I am going to run 4 easy miles and then try to conquer atleast 10 miles on Tuesday. I believe that 16 miles is out of the question right now given my weak state.  

Wiped out

I skipped my 4 mile run on Thursday because my body was begging me not to run. I was going to make it up on Friday. However, at 4AM on Friday I got the stomach flu. I was in bed the whole day on Friday. It is Saturday now and I am not sure what to do about my 16 miler scheduled for tomorrow. I WANT to run but know that that would be STUPID. I have such a busy week that I am not sure where I can fit a 16 mile run in my schedule. I may do 5 miles tomorrow and try to fit in the 16 miler Tuesday morning at 4:00AM. I NEVER GET THE FLU. All of the books warn that when you start really pushing your body your defenses go down . . ..

I GOT SCARED OF MY OWN SHADOW TODAY . . .

. . . .NOT COOL! 4 miles yesterday. 8 miles today. I hit the road yesterday at 4:45AM . .today it was 5:00AM. This morning was the first morning that I actually had to drag myself out the door. Probably because I have a new pair of shoes (and this always happens) but I have several body parts that aren't very happy with me right now . . .my left IT BAND and my right achilles tendon. Running typically gives me abundant energy to feed off throughout the day. With this heat it has had the reverse effect. At 5:00AM this morning it was already 85 degrees!  I jumped about 3 feet off the ground today when I came upon my shadow . . .I do not run because of who I am, I run because of who I want to be.

Daddy Needed a New Pair of Shoes . . .

I "miled out" my shoes over the weekend - - 500 miles. I bought the exact same pair just the "new" color that recently came out. They are Mizuno Wave Nirvana 7's. They are worth the money. I always swore that I would always run in Asics (and I still like them) but these Mizuno's feel good. These will be the shoes that will help me accomplish some more "firsts" in my life. I went to the Y this morning for "spa" day. I stretched for about 20 minutes and then sat in the sauna for 10 minutes. Yesterday afternoon I sat in a pool for almost 4 hours. 4 mile run tomorrow and I feel fresh and ready to tackle another week of training.

Today is the farthest I have EVER ran . . .

15 miles! This is the first of my "firsts" until the marathon. This is the hardest physical challenge that I have faced. I know that when I run 18 miles, 15 won't seem so bad . .etc . . .but TODAY is the only day that I know and I ran 15 miles! After mile 7 as usual, my legs felt heavy and I had to drag them the remaining 8 miles. I don't think 20 ounces is enough because I was REALLY thirsty when I got home. I put in one of the NUUN hydration tablets in my water bottle. This is where I had GU:

15 minutes before run       mile 5            mile 9               mile   13

It was the Strawberry/Banana GU and didn't taste bad with the lemon flavored hydration tablet.

Came home and walked a quarter of a mile with my wife (I downed a 20 ounce GATORADE). Layed on the chair on the back patio and drank chocolate milk, ate an apple and a breakfast bar . .all the while taking turns icing different parts of my body. My right thigh really is bruised but I don't think that it is a running injury. I think I banged it on Friday when I was on a roller coaster with my kids!

Mentally I really started having doubts that #1 I was going to finish this 15 mile run without stopping (and I didn't except to duck behind some trees in the park! Not cool huh? )and #2 that I will be able to finish a marathon.

I started at 6:00AM and got home at 8:23AM . .not sure how many minute mile that is but I am sure it isn't a land speed record. At about mile 2 I ran in the fog for several miles. It was incredible. I felt like I was running on top of a mountain in the clouds (like when I climbed Devil's Head in Colorado). While I was in the fog (literally) the Van Morrison song "In The Garden" came on and I was struck by this line: "felt the presence of the youth of eternal summers in the garden." I know what that feels like and will understand it even more when I die and run in the garden. I have 85 songs on my marathon playlist and simply hit "shuffle" at the beginning of my run. I had no idea what song what going to be next but knew that GOD had whatever one it was picked out for me for that EXACT spot in my run. I don't believe in random.

I want to be that "old guy" that the young guys say, 'I want to be like that old guy" when I get old. Make sense? Speaking of old guys. I saw 2 old guys today watering their lawns while smoking cigarettes. I don't judge. I envy. . . .

More later . . .when some of this soaks in and my legs and thighs quit screaming.

Home Is Wherever I'm With You . . .

This is a line from an Edward Sharpe song (Home) that I listen to after every run when I am stretching. Ran 3 miles tonight. First time all summer that I have ran later than 6:00 in the morning! It was 7:30pm when I left and it was still well over 90 degrees! I have had a pain in my left butt cheek since my 7 mile run yesterday. I am a little nervous because there is a nerve back there (sciatic) that can cause all kinds of trouble. So now I am not only icing my left foot and knee but I am also icing my left butt cheek. You can only imagine how sexy my wife thinks that is. My training plan does not call for me to run tomorrow or Saturday. Sunday is 15 miles. I have never run 15 miles. I am excited about all of the "firsts" that this journey will bring me. Speaking of "firsts", my daughter starts kindergarten in a few weeks . . .I am going to have to ice my heart as well.

10 miles the last 2 days

3 miles yesterday morning. 7 miles this morning. This morning I ran the first 5 miles without music. The first 2 miles were in the dark. Without music, it is quite odd for me to hear the natural rhythms that my tired body makes. Even as "clunky" as my running tends to be - - -the music is uniquely my own. My breath (that my GOD, my mom and my dad gave me) and my steps make this cool sound that IS my running. While my breath and my steps are doing their thing I'll periodically cough or sigh or laugh or have a conversation with somebody in my head and slip out a few sentences out loud. Running is a complete isolation of body, mind and self yet it all works together to create this "experience" that I call my morning run.

I was thinking today that running is not a sport for me. It is a release. It is art, in a sense. It is a mode of transportation to see "things" at different times of the day. It is alot of things, but to me, it is NOT a sport. If it ever becomes about HOW FAST I CAN GO - - -I won't do it anymore. Not that I don't want to push myself but I won't let this be about the numbers (except 26.2!). I have enough numbers in my life.    

Sunday - - Longest run ever . . .

From now until September 25 most all of my weekend long runs will be the longest run I have ever done. 13.5 miles on Sunday. My left hip is not very happy with me today. I tried GU and GATORADE and found that by mile 4 this wasn't a combination that was going to work. I dumped the GATORADE out at mile 5 at the gas station and filled my handheld with water . . .almost instaneously my stomach felt better! I was watching a storm to the north throughout the first part of the run. At one point the wind blew for about 30 seconds . .seems like it was the first time the wind had blown in years around here. It was still 85 degrees when I stepped out the door at 6:00AM! I was watching lightning throughout the first half of my run . .by the time I was at about mile 7 out in the middle of nowhere on a county road when I realized that the storm was moving in my direction. There were 4 lighting strikes in a row (the "jagged, fingery type of lighting") and they were close enough that I could hear the thunder over my ipod - - -needless to say, I turned around and sprinted for about a half mile. I ran home and checked my mileage (sat at the computer for about 5 minutes) . .I was at 10 miles so I went back out for another 3.5 miles. The run wasn't very smooth. It wasn't very satisfying but it is the farthest that I have ever ran. My shoes have 465 miles on them so I will replace them next weekend . .not this weekend. SPA day at the YMCA today. Stretched for about 20 minutes and sat in the SAUNA for another 20 minutes.

Today

Today was a rest day. We sat by a pool for 4 hours this afternoon. It is well over 100 degrees here with the heat index. Tracy did YOGA in the park. I have been awake since 4:00AM. I couldn't get comfortable and TRIED to sleep in 4 different places in my house last night! I am going to run 13.1 miles tomorrow morning early before the sun wakes up. I put together a long run playlist today . . .70 songs. I am in trouble if 13.1 miles takes me 70 songs. I am going to hit "shuffle" and be surprised. I handpicked every one of the songs so they will all take me "some" place that I have been before. . . .A friend recently introduced me to the singer, Ryan Bingham. At 5:00AM this morning I watched him on Austin City Limits. I am digging it . . . I am going to put gatorade instead of water in my handheld water bottle for my run tomorrow. Going to a friend's house tonight for fish . . .it will be one beer and water the rest of the time as this marathon training is a lifestyle that can't be compromised just because it's hot and he offers me two beers!

13.1 miles this weekend . . . .

Today is a rest day . . .

I floated this morning and I don't know why

I floated this morning on my 3 mile run and I don't exactly know why. Couldn't have been the 3 McDoubles I had last night. I think some of it was the fact that I didn't carry my handheld waterbottle and I had my Brooks Ghost 3 shoes on instead of my Mizuno's. The Brooks are lighter, cushionier (prnounced: cushion-ee-er) and springier (pronounced springy-er). However, on runs longer than 4 or 5 miles I need more protection. In all of my years of running I have only had one setback with my "bad" knee. My "bad" knee is the one that I blew out playing basketball when I was 31. I had the ACL and MCL repaired. My scar is huge and turns an interesting shade of pink in the summer. My training calls for a day off tomorrow. I am going to the Y. I haven't been there in a while. Saturday I will take a 5 to 6 mile walk with my wife. On Sunday morning I will run 13.1 miles. Since this heat has been so crazy, I have been thinking about heading out at about 5:00AM. I sat through a 401K meeting at work yesterday and realized (not the first time I have realized this!) how fleeting our lives are. . .even though I am a christian, it is very sobering to think about how short our stay here on earth is and just how long eternity is. . .

My supper tonight . . .

This is what I ate today:

6 mile run burned 600 calories this morning

breakfast: 1 banana, 1 breakfast bar

lunch: 4 cups of trail mix

supper: (this is where it gets good) 3 McDoubles, large fry and a chocolate sunday

80 degrees at 5:30AM

Ran 6 miles this morning at 5:30AM - - it was 80 degrees. Here are some of the random happenings on the run: left home, ran past the hospital where my grandpa's died, ran past the nursing facilities where my grandma's died, ran past my mom's house, ran past the hospital where I was born - -ran home. It is a blessing and a curse to live where I grew up. . . life and death happens in my head when I am on the road by myself. Interesting how I can let my mind wander back in time while my body pushes itself forward. I'm not sure that this "running thing" is for people who can't be alone with themselves in their own head.

I am on old war plane . . .

I headed out this morning at 5:15AM for a short 3 mile run. My goal was to be quick like a fighter jet. By mile one my engine was still getting the kinks out. My right hip would sputter, my left ankle would creak, my shoes would feel like they needed tied (again) and the playlist I chose for this 3 mile "flight" didn't seem fitting. I realized that I am like one of those old war planes that they sometimes feature on the History Channel. Not flashy, just determined and dependable - - a "work horse" of sorts (like a fullback). I am the war plane that takes a little extra runway to get going but once in air will refuse to stop unless my wing gets clipped by enemy fire OR God just says its time to stop flying and swoops me out of the sky. When I was younger, if I had ran, my personality would have dictated that I would have been more like one of the more sleek and furious fighter jets. The kind employed for quick and deadly 3 mile missions. Oh, but with age comes wisdom. My wife reminds me, my physical therapist reminds me and for the first one mile of every run,the "old war plane" that is my body reminds me that slow and long is better than no flight at all. I have 6 miles tomorrow to run  . . it is only 6:00AM TODAY and I already can't wait until tomorrow. Until that time . .I will put this poor body in the hangar and oil myself with water and gatorade. Need to sign off - -I am trying too hard to be clever now!   

12.3 miles today and a hair net at mile 7

12.3 miles today. Here are the highlights:

1 GU 20 minutes before run

.5 miles  (whig in the middle of the road)

3.5 dead possum in the road smelling to "high" heaven

4 miles (4 rows deep in a cornfield to "get rid of" all the the water I consumed to get ready for the run!

5 miles GU GEL

6 miles I thought about if the Beastie Boys pulled me up on stage, what song would I rap with them.

7 miles (found a hair net in the middle of the street)

8.5 miles met a 73 year old man who was training for his first half marathon. I stopped and walked with him for 5 minutes. We were in the middle of the road with cornfields on both sides talking. .it was almost surreal. His name is KC - -I told him I would pray for his continued health.

9 miles GU GEL

9.5 miles Felt like my legs were going to fall off.

10 miles I thanked God for my kids. I thought about who I love who is alive and who I love who is not alive.

10.5 miles I smelled a juniper and was taken back to Colorado in my mind.

12.3 miles HOME!

Instead of just "running" today I started thinking. It is like pitching, putting, giving a presentation . . .you can't THINK you just have to DO. When I think - -I fail. I kicked out of it but several times I asked myself what in the world I was doing out here in 85 degree humid weather. I asked myself what I was trying to prove, who I was trying to prove it to and tried to convince myself that this was some sort of vain attempt to get back my lost youth. The bible says that "the mind controlled by the spirit is life" . .I hold on to that promise. I was met by my family (and niece) who walked around the block with me to cool off. I then "iced" myself for about 20 minutes. I feel good. Through God, I won the battle once again.

My mind is water logged

I obsess over things. I didn't used to. I am now obsessed over my "hydration" plan for 26.2 miles. When I was younger I would have headed out the door and tried to barrel through 26.2 miles. Not sure whether I would have made it or not but my ego and youth would have carried me well past my breaking point. Not so now. Now I worry about what I should drink, when I should drink it and how I am going to carry it. I want somebody to tell me exactly what to do . . .and nobody can. I went to see my "running buddy" at his running store today to get advice (and to buy one of those stupid looking belts!). He told me since I was already used to carrying a 20 ounce handheld bottle that I really didn't need to spend the extra $50 to carry it around my waste (however that one had 4 10 ounce bottles). He helped me with a plan and I think this is what I am going to do . .for now . . .I will fill up my bottle at the beginning of the race (20 oz) . .drink it all by mile 13 and then re-fill it with water at one of the aid stations at mile 13 for the remainder of the race. Throughout the race then I can get gatorade at the aid stations.  I have a 12 mile run tomorrow. As far as GELs he told me to take one 20 minutes before my run, one at 5 miles and one at 9 miles. I am going to have my shoes "miled out" at the beginning of August so I tried on the new ones I am going to buy (same model Mizuno Nirvana 7's they just changed the colors). I took my "change" bottle to the bank and have saved $91.00 worth of change since October! I have another $30 on my gift card so I am just a couple of bucks shy! Twelve mile run tomorrow morning at 6AM . .I have been drinking water all day and have downloaded The Cars, The Little River Band and all of Coldplay onto one playlist so I won't have to stop in the middle of my run.

6 miles 4:45AM Rain

Yesterday morning at 4:45AM  ran 6 miles in the rain. It was dark for the first couple of miles. The morning reminded me of early January mornings when I leave for my run in the dark and return from my run in the dark. The rain, sweat, the dark turning to light and the clicking rythym of my heart beat and footsteps onc again reminded me of why I do this. This morning was a quick 3 miles. 5:15AM  . . .I listened to Coldplay today. I wore my Brooks Ghost 3 shoes (I wear them on runs under 4 miles) . . .they are my favorite shoes however I don't feel like they have the support to carry this ackward frame 26.2 miles. I have a long day ahead of me. . .  

7 Days and 25 miles later

Been 7 days and 25 miles since I have written anything on here. When I was putting stuff on here all of the time I found myself thinking about what I was going to write when I was running. I am not that guy and I don't want to be that guy. This morning I ran 3 miles with no music. Seems like when I don't have the Beastie Boys beating in my ears, my other senses come alive. In one quarter mile stretch this morning, I smelled pine, oranges, cigarettes and maple syrup. I weighed myself at the Y yesterday morning (spa day!) and weighed 177.2. I have no idea how I am going to run 26.2 miles. I am going to look at fuel belts this weekend. I don't really want to be THAT guy either but I'm not sure else what to do. I can't carry two handheld bottles and I AM NOT going to rely on water stations. I lost my toenail last week . .the other one is growing in just fine thank you very much.

Tuesday

I ran almost 6 miles yesterday. I have concluded that regardless of how tan or how many miles I put on them - I will always have chicken legs. At this point, nothing really hurts on my body. I have my normal aches and pains but nothing serious seems to be rearing its ugly head. I have 5 miles tomorrow morning and I am excited. I didn't run today and I feel fuzzy. I am not sure exactly where I "stand" on myself today - - however, I am home now and I can love my wife and kids tonight the best that I know how to.

I feel "change" coming into our lives. Not bad change, just change. When I was younger, I lived for change. As I have gotten older and go to bed earlier, I have "settled." God made me too wild to settle. Everybody seems to "settle." I don't want to be "everybody." I like that line, "God made me too wild to settle." It is an original. I may get a tattoo of it on my chest. . .  

What I Want . . .

I want to live simply and humbly. God has showed me (and is showing me!) that through him, both are attainable. Running helps me with clarity . . .and clarity helps me live simply . . .and when things are clear and simple . . .I am humbled.

Sunday

"Today is the day the Lord hath made, rejoice and be glad in it." My legs will rejoice that I'm not going to "run" them today. The heat here in our little pasture of the universe has been "searing." I plan on walking with my kids in the creek this afternoon. Pronounced CRICK. We're going to slosh through the brown water with old shoes on and explore. Tracy won't go for fear of being eaten by a crawdad. My body feels good today. My mind is once again not right but so goes the battle. . .there is always something to battle isn't there?

10 miles 5 schools 12 years in 90 minutes

I ran by 5 of the schools I went to as a kid today. Didn't run by my college as that would have added another 120 miles to my run. I left at 5:15AM. It was already 85 degrees and the dewpoint had to be in the mid-90's. My shirt got heavy with sweat by mile 2. In a sense, I ran from 1975 to 1987 in 90 minutes. Fairly symbolic of how quickly my life seems to be moving right now . . .my kids lives seem to be moving even quicker than that. Ten miles in 90 something degree heat won't buckle me . . .but thinking about how fast my kids are growing up - - -that hurts.

BACK

I ran in Florida last week.  A few of the highlights: I made black lizards jump. I ran in the rain in Daytona Beach. My longest run was 8 miles. Running in the south is like running in the sauna at the Y (minus the old naked guys who don't have "long enough" towels). Tomorrow is going to be a tough one. This whole training thus far has been easy because I am really not racking up much mileage. It is going to change tomorrow. I will run 10 miles tomorrow. The heat index will be 95 to 100. I have been drinking water all day today. I mapped out a course where I am going to run past every school I went to as a kid. At about mile 6 I am going to climb the 4th Street Bridge. Whereas the 4th Street Bridge isn't the Golden Gate Bridge - - it will be enough of a climb to make my sweaty quads bark. I look forward to the challenge. All of this comes down to one question: Am I tough enough to run 26.2 miles? With all of the crap that I ate in Florida I only gained a couple of pounds. I met a guy today who runs 55 miles per week. He didn't have any body fat. I think I am still carrying around a couple of Keystone Lights from 1991 around my mid-section. Tomorrow I will fill up my 20 ounce water bottle, tie my laces and hit the streets. Last week in Florida I went on an "Aerosmith-inspired" Rock-N-Roll rollercoaster - -I went from zero to 65 mpg in 2.5 seconds. I won't be going that fast tomorrow . . .it messes my hair up.

OFF TO FLORIDA

We are going to Florida from Thursday to Tuesday. From a running standpoint, I am excited about exploring new roads. I love to run in different places. The air is suffocating in the south. I like smelling new smells, hearing new hears, tasting new tastes. I ran 4.5 miles this morning. The house I talked about yesterday was dark. . .I am hoping that the lady who lives there did not run out of time. I went to bed with an unbelievable toothache - -slept on the hardwoods in our son's room trying to press my throbbing cheek deep into the cool floor for relief. . .went to the Dentist and she didn't see anything. I will survive. I have a 9 mile run scheduled for Saturday while still at Disney World. On Monday we will be in Daytona Beach - I won't run on the beach for 2 reasons #1 It REALLY hurts the tendons and #2 I am not Rocky.

I DON'T ALWAYS LIKE MYSELF

but  I like myself when I run. I worked out at the Y yesterday. I didn't impress anybody there with how much weight I was lifting. This morning I ran at 5:00AM . . .I ran past a house that I have been running by for 5 years and this time saw an ambulance and a stretcher. In the summer, she works out in the yard early before the sun gets hot. She has her TV on early in the morning year round. I don't know her, but I know about certain aspects of her life. When you run, you observe . . .As I ran by, all I could do was pray for her. I have 4 miles to run in the morning - -I will run by her house and hope to see the TV flickering in the front window. I listened to the song, "Wagon Wheel" by Old Crow Medicine Show at least 1,400 times today. I don't always like myself, but I like myself when I run . . .     

Fathers Day

Ran 5 miles today. Unsure at this point how I am ever going to manage to squeak out another 21 miles. However, I never thought that I would be able to run 13.1 miles and I have three times. I keep all of this running in perspective. I have certainly had to do harder things in my life than run 13.1 miles and now 26.2 miles. I have had to have hard conversations. I have had to say goodbye to people that I love. I have had to watch a 12 year old boy get his heart broken for the first time after a dance. I have had my heart broken. I have overcome (through the strength of God) addictions, . . .so all this is is running. I am going to battle a lot tougher things in my life than to try to run 26.2 miles. I already have.

I spent this day with my dad, my son and my step dad. I am thankful that all of them are still around. One day they won't be - - -and when that day comes, I will run to try and relieve some of the hurt. I spent most of the day swinging in a hammock with my high school sweetheart and walking in the creek with our 13 year old offspring! My 5 year old daughter made me a card that said "I like you" on the front cover - - -I am glad that she likes me! I love her.

Tomorrow morning I go to the Y and workout. . . .  

Saturday

Last year on this date I ran in Maggie Valley, North Carolina. It was the serenest (most serene?) run of my 2010. Tucked in between the Smoky Mountains I felt like I could run forever. I ran 5 miles today. I ran past a dead bird, a bag of Cheerios and an adult diaper. I did not pick up any of it. I ran down the highway. It is a rush meeting a semi head-on at 60 - 65 mph. It was loud enough to drown out the Kanye beating in my headphones. I am going to run again in the morning. It is Father's Day and I would like to welcome the sun (son) on some country road. After my run I "iced" and took a shower. I feel clean, fit and content; this being the part of the run that I love most. On the aging process, the poet Dylan Thomas wrote: "I will not go gentle into that good night . . ."nor will I my dear drunken Welsh poet friend.

Friday Night

My training does not have me run on Monday, Friday or Saturday. However, until my long runs on Sunday become over 9 miles I will run a little bit on Saturday as well. I go to the Y and workout on Monday and Friday. I will resume SPA DAY again on Mondays when my Sunday runs get long once again. SPA DAY consists of me sitting in the corner of the pool at the Y at 5:45AM. I sit there for about 20 minutes and stretch. I don't swim I just hover in the corner. I tend to freak out  the old ladies in swim caps. I think they think I am stalking them - I am not. After the pool, I sit in the sauna . . .usually alone . .however a stray old man occasional wanders in. Old men have no shame. I will leave it at that. I risk injury when I run too much without giving my body rest. . .I have learned that the hard way over the years. I have learned pretty much everything the hard way over the years. I look forward to my runs tomorrow and Sunday. I look forward to getting "out" in the world again. On the days that I don't run I feel like I used to when I was ten and my best friend left on the train for vacation. I know that he will be back but I know that I won't be the same until he returns.

It is 5:45AM

It is 5:45AM and I am back from my run. My family still sleeps. My training only called for 3 miles today. The mileage will really start ramping up here in a couple of weeks. I punished myself for the 3 miles I did run today. When it started to get uncomfortable - - I pushed even harder. Last night I ate 9 chicken strips, fries and a Coors Light at Buffalo Wild Wings. I am not a food snob but the 9 chicken strips (each one the size of a mother hen) dunked in Ranch dressing is not standard fare for someone training for a marathon. I felt the chicken strips this morning on my run . . .I am also doing pushups after every run. I used to be religious in doing pushups several times per day. . .and then I got out of the habit because they started to hurt. I am not going to get out of the habit this time . . .atleast not until September 25th. Surprisingly I was the only one at Buffalo Wild Wings last night that had a "Got Jack Johnson?" tshirt on. I thank God this morning that I have a family that is healthy and sleeps upstairs and an opportnity to go to work today and provide for them. I also thank God for a nice clean shave and a bottle of old school Canoe aftershave. . .

I RUN - I AM NOT A RUNNER

I ran 4 miles this morning at 5:15AM. I ran past both the elementary school and middle school that I went to in the 70's and early 80's. I went to a visitation last night - a classmate who went to the same schools I did. It was odd running this morning by the same playgrounds that he used to run on.  I AM NOT A RUNNER - I RUN. I don't wear a watch. I don't wear short shorts. I don't wear a visor. I don't wear cool sunglasses. However, I look MORE like a runner now than I ever have simply because my wife told me that I looked too much like Woody Harrelson in "White Men Can't Jump" after my first half marathon last year. After bloody nipples (yes, I said bloody nipples - runners will get it!). . .I now understand the importance of certain materials! I listened to Coldplay the X&Y album this morning. It is almost too much for me as every line of every song makes me think. . .When I run, my BODY lives in the NOW! My mind might wander forward and reverse, but my body has no other option but to live in the NOW! I could learn from it. . .

IN THE RAIN

I RAN THREE MILES AT 5:15AM IN THE RAIN. I RAN HARD. MY SHIRT WAS A 50/50 MIX OF RAIN AND SWEAT. IT SMELLED LIKE A MARATHON. ANOTHER PERSON I KNOW DIED YESTERDAY. WE CAN'T OUT RUN THAT. I PRAYED FOR HER FAMILY WHEN I RAN. I PRAYED FOR PEACE FOR THEM WHEN IT IS TIME FOR PEACE. IT IS NOT TIME FOR PEACE YET, JUST HURT. I AM CHRONICLING THIS JOURNEY FOR 26.2 BECAUSE IT WILL BE THE ONLY "FIRST" THAT I WILL HAVE WITH THIS. OUR WHOLE LIFE IS NOTHING MORE THAN A SERIES OF "FIRSTS" AND "LASTS". I AM REALLY DIGGING THE POETRY OF GARY SNYDER RIGHT NOW.

THIS WEEKEND

I ran 4.7 miles on Saturday and 7 miles on Sunday. Everything starts to hurt at 7 miles for me. I can feel the lactic acid build up in my legs . . .after 7 miles I feel like my legs are logs. I ran in the country (Fremont Street to the East) past a house that, last year, 2 dogs came out to the road and tried to bite me. I lifted both of them off of the ground at the same time with my Asics. The coast was clear this year. I have no idea how I am going to run 26.2 miles. I talked to my "running buddy" on Saturday . . .he is training for a 100 mile race. I am not. My toe nail on my right foot is preparing to come off. It is black. It looks like I have painted it. I have not. My training is still pretty light this week. So far with this traning I am running quite a few miles less per week than I normally run. In a few weeks my mileage will ramp up and I will risk injury if I do not take the time to stretch. I am trying to eat better. Every pound I lose will save my knees. My right knee has a 12 inch scar from a repaired ACL. Ironically, it has never been the one to bother me. I have decided to "ice" after every run whether I think that I need it or not. A guy I grew up with died on Friday. I have thought about him all weekend. I still remember what he wore in 5th grade. It is interesting what my mind retains. It is also interesting what it chooses to forget . . .though I don't remember what it chooses to forget . .because I forgot. I like myself when I run. . .

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

I am in my second week of training for The Quad Cities Marathon on September 25 in the Year of our Lord two thousand and eleven. My life is nothing more than random ponderings, incomplete sentences, stream of consciousness ramblings and sometimes plain nonsense. When I run . . .things get clearer. I think that some of the reason I have clarity when I run is because I turn off the noise in my head and let my breathing, my God and the little boy in me - JUST BE.

Today was just 3 miles. I hit the road at 5:30AM. I out ran a thunderstorm. When I got home I took my shoes off. I walked halfway down the block (like I always do) and stretched on a brick wall in front of someones house. I have been doing this for five years. After stretching, I ran back home BAREFOOT on our brick street. I have always heard that we aren't stupid and our feet will pickup as soon as they feel something sharp. I tried it. Surprisingly, I'm not stupid.

For those of you keeping score at home . . .in week 2 of my training I weigh 181 pounds. I am not really doing this to lose weight. I am doing this to see how tough I am. I have lived a lot of lives in my life. This is the one I am living now. . .