My knee hurts. That is not a good sign. A cortisone shot is pretty much supposed to numb everything - -unless it is bad. I have a strange feeling that this is worse than I want it to be.
I have been working out every day. Surprisingly I have not gained any weight. It has been a long time since I have ran. I am sad. I miss the "me" that greeted the morning in the dark. I miss the "me" that would sweat, and stretch on the brick wall down the street. I miss the "me" that would drink water for strength and survival - - - I plain miss "me." I miss being a little on edge stepping out into the dark morning and talking to my God about keeping me safe. I miss planning my weekend runs. The leaves came and went and not once did I get to run in them, or smell them. I understand that I sound like a bad Hallmark card . . .but those of you out there who run . .you know what I mean.
Honestly, I am scared that my knee is so shredded that I may not be able to run again without pain. I am doing the best that I can (after all, nobody is dying here) by working out and doing the stupid elliptical . . . .but I MISS ME. I had to go to the store to get Outside magazine because if I can't have adventure then I need to read about it. I will not go down gracefully. I will fight this thing to the end. I understand that I am 43 years old . . .but I have more marathon type adventures left in me. THAT man is the man that my wife, children, family and friends need - - -that is the guy that I am trying to find . . .without running.
Listening to this today: Michael Kiwanuki
This is ALL I listened to in Mexico.
