Sledgehammers on my quads and I'm still going to write . .

#1 I am still going to write on this blog every day. I am hoping for a book deal. Or an underwear deal. I'll take whichever comes first.

#2 I feel like somebody took a sledgehammer to my quads.

#3 I can however go up the stairs headon instead of sideways.

#4 This 26.2 mile thing has become a bigger deal in my mind today.

# 5 I got up at 4:30AM on Monday and Tuesday . .both days I went to the Y to recover in the pool, steam room, sauna and stretched.

#6 I am going to try to keep this marathon "lifestyle" . . .THAT is what I like about the Doug Owen who ran 26.2 miles.

#7 YES . .I ran the whole 26.2 . .though I had to stop and go to the bathroom at mile 18 . .I can't count that as a STOP (I stood up!) . .

#8 I missed my projected time by 10 minutes. Several reasons for that: HILLS, I hit the wall and was scared to push completely out of it because I thought there might be another wall even bigger! I never did this before!

#9 My heart did a little dance at mile 24 to let me know it was getting annoyed.

#10 This is actually #1. I could not have ran 26.2 miles without God going on all of the training runs with me! I hate when people say that and don't mean it . .I mean it.

26.2 miles later . . .

26.2 miles later I'm home. . .I've got to be honest - this was tough. I can barely walk! My wife and kids are getting a foreshadow of what I am going to look like when I'm 80! I did not set any records . . .but I put one foot in front of the other for 26.2 miles, crossed the Mississippi River twice, ran in the cold rain for almost 8 miles, stayed on my feet, hit the wall (if it wasn't THE it was A wall), fought my demons and finished the last quarter mile with my son running with me. More later . . .warm shower and the Bears.

4:15 AM - - -Marathon Day

I slept the way I used to sleep on Christmas Eve. I slept the way I slept the night before my knee surgery. I was up every hour checking the clock making sure that I wasn't going to miss my alarm . . the way I do in a hotel room not wanting to miss my flight. God has never had me miss a flight . .but I still wake up.

The gun goes off at 7:30 . . I live an hour away from the starting line. I will be there early. I am going to drive there by myself, start by myself and be greeted by my family at the finish line. That is the way I want it. Leave in the dark by myself and return to my family.

I have had BIG days in my 42 year life. This is not one of them. Though this is one that I will always remember, this day isn't one that defines me. It is not a wedding, a funeral, a birth, an adoption, a baptism . . .it is not the day I fell in love, admitted an addiction, got my heart broken. It may appear as though I am downplaying the day for fear of not finishing - I'm not. I am merely pointing out that my life is far deeper than 26.2 miles. The things I don't like about myself at the starting line will be the same things I don't like about myself at the finish. And the things I DO like about myself at the starting line will be the same things I like about myself at the finish.

It is 4:30AM and I must finish getting ready.

The night before . . .

Went to Quad Cities and picked up my packet.
Packed all my stuff.
Layed out my clothes.
Charged both ipods (bringing 2 just in case . . .I'm dead without music)
I've been drinking water all day (like I usually do) and eating normal.

This whole thing is in perspective. I am not looking to finish 26.2 miles and feel different. I am already different because of the training.

I LIVE.
I LOVE.
I LAUGH.
I have done all of those LONG before I ever started to run. Running just enhances them . . .

 One of my favorite lines from a song is by Pete Yorn and it goes, "I don't know how she died, but I sure know how she LIVED."

Every run is a story. Even if it is a short run. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. The smells, sounds, thoughts, hurts . ..are all different .. but they are all RICH. Tomorrow won't be any different it will just be a little longer story than body is used to.

For those of you who pray . . .please pray for me. I can guarantee you if I even know you remotely I have prayed for you at some point during this 66 plus hour training.

And now I walk into the wild . . . . 

I feel like I'm about ready to kiss a girl for the first time . . .

I feel like I'm standing on the high dive, strapped in a rollercoaster, speaking in front of thousands of people, taking my driver's license test, kissing a girl  - - - -all for the first time.

My butterflies vanished when I jumped, went over the first hill, opened my mouth and spoke, started the car, puckered my 6th grade lips (yes Isaid 6th grade!)  ---the butterflies will also vanish when I take my first step tomorrow morning at 7:30AM? How do I know? Because history repeats itself . . .

I went to bed fighting a sore throat. It will not win.

I have eaten pasta, bread, apples, yogurt, granola, oatmeal . . . .all stuff I usually eat - -just not with the same intent of loading my body with carbs.

More when I get back from the 5 year old soccer game, apple orchard, deli, EXPO, Starbucks, Running Store . . .

I love this song by David Gray . . .

http://youtu.be/FAIcMg8zz6k

If I could sing like this I would never leave the house. . .

Training done . . .all that's left is the shootin' match

2 miles last night.

Most body parts feel OK . . .left hip is a little pissed but other than that . .

Nothing left to do now but RUN.

Spaghetti tonight.

Going to Quad Cities tomorrow to pick up packet.

Ton of friends sending me texts, emails and calls.

I have NO idea how I am going to do this.

Here's the plan:
GELS     45 minutes before . . . .mile 4.5    mile 9      mile 13.5          mile 18            mile 22.5
(going to my "running buddy's" store tomorrow morning to buy my FINAL marathon Gels - - -gooutsideandplayrunningshoes.com) . . .
                                                                         6 gels at $1.40 = $8.40

WATER  20 ounces every 6 miles with 1 NUUN tablet at every fill up
 mile1-6 20 ounces/1NUUN    mile7-12   20 ounces/1NUUN     mile13-18 20 ounces/1NUUN                   mile 19-24 20 ounces/1NUUN
                                                                80 ounces water / 4 NUUN                                                         

BATHROOM
Whenever I have to!
Running 26.2 miles is going to be tough enough . .I'm not going to be miserable by trying to put it off! Not like I am going to be setting any records anyway. . .

LYRICS TO MY MARATHON THEME SONG BY COLDPLAY (if you don't know it . .listen to it)
   
          LOST
Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I would cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get
What I deserved
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause a long may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting until the firing stopped
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

(piano solo)

Ohhh and I...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I..
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

MORE LATER . . .

2 miles tonight and I'm done . .

2 miles tonight and I'm done. I've been reading too much about carb-loading. I've been reading too much about hitting the wall. I've been reading too much.

Here is my plan:

I am going to eat like I have always eaten.
I am going to drink like I always have drank.
I am going to start out slow and stay slow  . .like I always have!

This tapering is driving me crazy. By Sunday, I will just be excited to run again.

The songs that will get me through the last 8 miles . . .

3 miles today - 5:30AM. I floated in the dark. Scared myself with my own shadow twice. People ask me what I think about spending so much time alone in the dark morning. Most of the time I am so in the "now" that my mind doesn't wander into the past or in the future. That is was is so poetic about running. It is one foot in front of the other, it is the smells that you smell you RIGHT now, the air that you breathe RIGHT now, the song that you sing RIGHT now. Speaking of songs, these are the songs or groups that (with God's help) will carry me through the last 8 miles:

Mumford and Son (2 songs)
Coldplay/Jay-Z (Lost - -this my marathon theme song)
Eminem Till I Collapse
Kanye West All of the Lights
ACDC Thunderstruck
Goo Goo Dolls Name
Stevie Nicks For What It's Worth
Kanye West Stronger
Old Crow Medicine Show Wagon Wheel
Eminem Lose Yourself
Finger Eleven  Paralyzer
Ryan Bingham Southside of Heaven
Fort Minor Remember the Name
U2 Beautiful Day
Edward Sharpe Home
Stevie Nicks Landslide
Kevin Rudolf   Let it Rock
Rumspringa (Minds Awake and Shake em' Loose)
Van Morrison In the Garden
Saliva Click Click Book
Wyclef Jean We Are Trying To Stay Alive
Rob Thomas  . . Little Wonders I love this line: "All lives are made in these small hours" Yes, I was man enough to admit Rob Thomas . .

The only time I usually listen to this Rap/Rock stuff is when I work out . . .I need this at the end of the run because it gets my blood flowing so good that I would tend to start sprinting if these songs came early in the run! I've got 75 songs on my marathon playlist . .lots of slower, sad stuff at the beginning of the run that reminds me of people that I love, people that I love that have died, and songs that remind me of me . .
 .

8 in the rain . . .

8 miles in the rain. Left at 7:15AM . . .by 7:30 it was a cold and steady rain. My legs were fresh. It was good to get out there. I woke up at my usual 4:00AM and started bombarding myself with negative thoughts on how there was no way I could run 26.2 miles. Bombarded myself on why I would knowingly put myself through this pain for no apparent reason - - -it is easy to get attacked when you are laying in a warm bed in a dark room. Not 10 steps into my run - - -I remembered why I run and why I am doing this - - -because I love it. I love 3 mile runs like I love 10 mile runs. And though 26.2 miles is a LONG ways - - -I have always been driven by something much deeper than myself. I put together my playlist for the last 8 miles of the run. If I can get to 18 miles with "regular" music . . the "8 mile left playlist" will get me through the rest.

Perspective . . .

I understand that probably hundreds of thousands of people around the world are going to lose their lives today. . . .and hundreds of thousands will be born. This IS perspective. My 26.2 mile mountain . . .is self induced. I can stop whenever I want. I don't take that for granted. I hate when people turn their "hobbies" into something more than just that - - -I try not to do that. I am not running for my life. I am not running from my life. I am simply running - - -I never forget that.

3 miles at the Y yesterday . .new picture . . . taper

3 miles on the treadmill yesterday morning at 5:30AM at the Y. Had to change the picture . . .was taking too much crap (comments like: "you look like you are posing for the cover of an album" or even more to the point: "you look stupid.")! The new picture was taken after my 1st 18 mile run . . .I usually assume that same position after any run over 8 miles. Ice on both knees. Banana and Gatorade in hand. Once again, GQ hasn't been knocking down my door. Got a "nice" text from one of my little brothers this morning that simply said: "so when is your jog?"  Jog? Jog? I understand that I am not going to set a landspeed record but anything over 10 miles (regardless of how slow) needs to be classified as a run! I've got today and tomorrow off. Eight miles on Sunday and then next to nothing all of the next week until my 26.2 mile JOG on the 25th! Mentally I am struggling with the distance. I was talking to a friend yesterday who is training for the Chicago Marathon who is struggling mentally with the same thing. I don't have anything to compare this to. This will be the run that EVERYTHING from now on is compared to. If in January it is 5 below zero when I step out for my 5 mile run I can say, "I can get through this . . .I ran 26.2 miles." On Sunday the 25th . . .I'll be in a spot I've never been before . .especially after mile 20!  

390 MILES 3900 MINUTES 65 HOURS LATER

First off all, I ran 4.1 miles this morning at 5:00AM. Both of my knees now hurt and my left hip! I feel like John Riggins, the great Washington Redskins running back. Riggins was the oldest player to have 300+ rushing attempts in a season. With a fairly visible hitch in my giddyup now . .someone asked me today if I would go through with this. Would I go through with this? I did some math: 390 miles since June. 3900 minutes = 65 hours. I based this on a 10 minute mile . .which is a little slow but would account for 8 minute mile short runs and the 10 minutes or so I use for stretching for each run. I have so far run 390 miles so that I can run 26.2 miles. Appears as though the math favors the marathon! Oh . . . .but I love the focus . . .and the determination . . . .and the pit in my gut. I teeter totter back and forth with doubt. I am 7 years old again standing on the high dive for the first time. . . .

Eve of final early Wednesday AM run . . .

The taper has started. Tomorrow morning is the last morning that I have to be on the road at 5:15AM to get my miles in before my day starts. Six miles. A line in a Howard Nemerov poem has stuck with me, "A man may grow strong in his wandering." I can't put a finger on what it is that lives in me that has to do 26.2 miles. I can put a finger on why I love my wife. I can put a finger on why I do what I do for a living. I can put a finger on why I know that there is a God and a Son and a Spirit. Both of my knees have been yelling at me throughout the day. It seems like all I do in my spare time is . . .ice.

4 miles with my son

4 miles at 5:30AM with my son. No music. Full moon. Trains. Crickets. Dogs. The clicking rhythm of 4 feet on pavement. He is young, light of foot and very quiet when he runs. I, on the other hand, am not so young, clomp along and can't figure out how to quiet the heavy breathing and occasional gutteral groan. Regardless, he will one day remember doing some early morning training runs with his dad.

Another 12 miles in the books . . .

Bears win, fire in my fire pit, bought a new down winter coat from Cabellas for cheap, God loves me even though I'm not perfect, Jack Johnson coming out of the speakers and another 12 miles in the books. Hip felt good. Both knees started to ache as usual after 7 miles. Ran hard. Ran into the fog. Ran like it was my last run. Thought alot about my body and how I have absolutely abused  it over the years with nicotine, beer, junk food and general neglect. One of the reasons I run is because I CRAVE all of the above! Two years ago I thought that I was going to have to pay the price with my life for my abuse to my body. When I found out it it was a false alarm - - -I cleaned my act up. I don't judge. Believe me, I don't judge. If I could feed my body what it really wants (Cigars, chew, Keystone Light, Twinkies!) without the consequences, I probably would! God has shown me so much PURE  joy without the long term abuse to my body. He has given me running to replace the other crap . . .and I am SO thankful. 

15 Minutes before 12 Miles

It's amazing how much time it takes me to prepare for a long run. Even though I have everything layed out, I still fumble through the darkness and forget things. I've usually already logged a quarter mile up and down my stairs before my run begins! I told my wife that I had 12 miles this morning and she didn't seem impressed! Funny how our perspective changes when we start testing and exceeding our limits! She is very worried about me and is ready for this "whole thing" to be over with. I have lived inside my skin for 42 years and am not quite certain that I can just turn this "whole thing" off after I attempt to run 26.2 miles! It appears to be mid 60's outside and I am excited about what God has to say to me over the next 12 miles. I am running a route that weaves in and out of the city into the country. Even though I have ran further than 12 miles several time before - - -I respect the distance and KNOW that EVERY step could be my last. I understand that final line sounds like a bad line from a made for TV movie - - but I  DO understand that whether it is running, driving a car or just breathing - -our "last" ALWAYS has to come sometime.

Up at 4AM . . .

I was up this morning at 4AM. I found myself laying on the couch watching Mister Rogers Neighborhood while my little family slept upstairs. That show time travelled me back to 1975. I came across a line today by one of my favorite poets and will think about it all day:

                                                    "I love the earth, And always
                                                    in its darknesses I am a stranger."
                                                                                                     Galway Kinnell
                                                                                                     Middle of the Way

That is what I FEEL every morning when I first step off my back porch for my morning run.

My left hip has not calmed down yet. I have 12 miles tomorrow and pray that it won't give me fits. I have came ALL this way . . .doesn't my hip know that? It has been with me every step.

I smelled Polo today . . .

I smelled Polo (in the green bottle) today for the first time in a long time and was instantly taken back to 1986. It reminded me of high school football games and girls that I thought that I loved. Turns out the only girl I really did love still shares my last name after all these years and my kids call her "mom." I wonder what I will smell 20 years down the road and remind me of today? I wonder what will remind me of the "insane time in my life" when I trained for a marathon.

8 miles yesterday . .rest today

I rolled out of bed and did 8 miles yesterday. Today I slept until 6:00AM! I haven't slept until 6:00AM for months. My body once again woke up again at 4:30AM but fortunately this time I was able to fall back asleep. I thought that I really hurt my hip yesterday after stretching. I pulled something bad enough that I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to walk the half block home. I have today and tomorrow off from running so hopefully will feel better by Sunday's 12 mile run. I feel tired and out of shape today. After this marathon I am looking forward to my continued running. I need it in my life. I have only been running 4 days a week since training and look forward to getting back to 5 and 6 days per week. I am perfectly content with 4 and 5 mile runs - - - in fact, I feel like they do my body more good than slow, long runs. I am also looking forward to working out again. I have the scrawniest arms . . . . 

10.2 miles in last 2 days

Ran 5.1 miles yesterday morning at 5:30AM
Ran 5.1 miles this morning at 5:00AM
This morning my son ran with me. I woke him up at 4:45AM . . .not bad for a 13 year old! He stayed pretty close at about mile 2.5 when we were all alone on a dark country road and the only thing we could see was the white line in the middle of the road being lit up by the moon. I think the run this morning taught him things about himself. He had never run 5 miles before! I have 8 miles tomorrow. My left knee is trying to give me problems but I have worked too hard to let it. It has been below 50 degrees both runs this week. I can't wait to start running again in the snow . . . 

20 miles the day after . . .

I feel the onset of tendonitis in my left knee. I will bombard it with ibuprofen and ice. I am in pretty good shape today. Because I am me - -  the "newness" of 20 miles has worn off. I am not much of a "wisher" but there is one thing that I do wish. I wish that I would have started running about 20 years earlier than I did. I started in my mid-30's with ALREADY a 5 inch scar on my knee from a repaired ACL and meniscus. I guess that it is a visible excuse as to why I am not fast but I would have liked to have had a "fair shake." Met a guy at a party last night that couldn't believe that I was going to run a marathon at MY age.

For the record, I played golf in college (almost 20 years ago!)and understand what it is to be competitive. When it comes to running, I am not competitive. I am competitive with myself as to "how far can I push myself?" but am not competitive as far as racing goes. I am not a runner. I run. I am not a marathoner. I will have run a marathon. I am perfectly comfortable with my spot on the competitive running food chain. I have far more food chains that I am interested in climbing.

It is important to note that one of the main reasons that I run is because I love my wife and 2 kids so much that I want to be healthy and fit so that I can live on earth with them as long as God has planned for me.

8 hours later . . . .

8 hours later I can feel the 20 miles with every step! I ate a triple cheeseburger and shared (I ate 75%) a family order of fries with my son from Culvers. I feel confident. I feel grateful to my God for allowing me to experience this even though he promises that my life is "but a vapor." This morning was certainly a cool way to live my vapor! 80 ounces of water (with Nuun) Gels at 30 minutes before .  .4.5 miles . .9 miles . .13.5 miles and 18 miles. I started cramping up at around mile 20. I am certain that the final 6.2 is going to be a battle. I was on my feet for 3 1/2 hours today. I thought about alot of things today. It is hard to escape yourself when you are forced to be alone with yourself in your head - - -mile after mile.

Passed the 20 mile test

At this point in my life, my body, my heart and my mind are tougher than 20 miles! More later . . .

15 minutes before my first 20 miles.

15 minutes before my first 20 miler and I've got to be honest, I feel like I just got strapped into a rollercoaster. It is still dark out. All of the Owens' at my house are sleeping. I think that I have all of my appropriate bodyparts "taped", "covered" and "taken care of"! I remember that 10 miles was a big deal. 20 won't be twice as big a deal but big enough to wake me uup with butterflies. Of course, my mind is telling me that my left hips hurts - - OR, my left hip hurts. Regardless of my hip, my nerves, my covered bodyparts Robert Frost said , "I have miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep" . . and so do I.  

20 mile run tomorrow

I have been sitting here at my computer this morning for 45 minutes trying to map out my run tomorrow. It is easy to figure 20 miles. It is harder to try to figure out where I can get water. I am basically going to take three runs all starting and ending at my house . .when the run ends, I will re-fill my water. I will have the water sitting outside so I can re-fill my bottle fast  . . .I have learned that when I stop, starting over is almost like learning how to run again. I have once again been reading too much about "hitting the wall." When I was younger, EVERYTHING about me was full throttle - - -now I seem to be somewhat cautious and obsess over things. This week has the been the first week where doubt has crept in. I have this story that keeps playing over and over in my head where I pull myself out of the race at about mile 22. Would like to say that I don't ever have self doubt but that wouldn't be true . . .and that wouldn't be fair to "running" because running is one of the "truest" things I know. I am going to drink well over 100 ounces of water today and fuel myself with "slow" burning energy (apples, yogurt, oatmeal). I weighed myself and I am at 174 pounds. That means that I am only 4 pounds away from my goal. Surprisingly  I don't really feel like I am in very good shape. I think alot of it is that I have not been working out (except 30 pushups after every run) and as a reult my chest and arms aren't very strong. Let's put it this way, GQ won't be knocking on my door anytime soon. I am going to once again buy my GU today and anxiously prepare myself for the beating I am about to take tomorrow morning!